Undisciplined Toddler to Juvenile Delinquent

Four year old Hailey pushes her little brother down after he starts to play with one of her toys.  She is told she may not behave that way, how it hurts little Aidan and that if she behaves that way again, she will go in the time out corner.  Five minutes later, she is caught in mid-push.  Aidan falls to the floor crying.  Aiden is quickly comforted and Hailey is asked, "Do you want a time-out?" 

Is there anything wrong with that question?  Is it logical to think that your child wants a time-out?  Why are we asking them if they want something that we know they do not want?  We ask them, not for their sakes, but for our own.  We don't really want to have to put them in time-out, so we begin to reason with a small child that sees the world in black and white.  We may not want to go through the hassle of having to put them in time-out, following through and making sure there is resolution to the problem.  We also don't want to see them cry or get their feelings hurt, and we definitely don't want to deal with a tantrum.  We ask them what they want so that we do not have to go through all of that.

The hassle we believe we are saving ourselves begins to create a monster we will deal with later, sometimes even through the rest of the child's life.  We are teaching them that we are not going to follow through with consequences.  We are teaching them that they can get away with things they were told were wrong.  We are teaching them to ignore authority figures, and when they get into trouble, they can cry and throw a tantrum so that there will not be a penalty for the wrong that they did.  Do you see how lack of correct discipline as a toddler can create a juvenile delinquent?  That's pretty scary stuff.

Consistent follow through is a must!  We want a society filled with responsible, caring, honest people don't we?  Of course we do.  What kind of adults do you think your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews are going to be?  Are they honest now? Do they have character when it comes to admitting their wrong and doing the right thing?  Those things are taught.  Adults that take the time to correct behavior in toddlerhood are more likely see that child grow into a decent human being.  Let's take the extra time and effort to cultivate the soil.  They will love us for it in the future.